Saturday, September 8, 2007

One Year In Dublin

It's a sleepy morning and I am drinking my first cup of coffee for the morning and thought I would write a little bit. Alot of people have been asking why I made my blog private...mostly I just decided that I didn't want the entire world wide web to have access to my private thoughts, pictures and life. I also realized that I was really sensoring my blog and I shouldn't have to do that so this was the better option. I hope you all continue to log in and read and enjoy it.

I went out with my friend from work Rena last night. It was a beautiful evening. The sun was out all day yesterday and so we headed into town right after work for dinner and a few drinks. We had a lot of fun hanging out in the outdoor beer gardens at Crawdaddy, made friends with a few of the guys of this really good Irish band that had played there last night and eventually called it an early night since she was heading south for a day of massage today after her triathalon last weekend.

I am finally finishing my medicine from being sick and I have to admit that it has put me a bit on edge. The medicine had steroids in it so you have to come off it slowly to allow your body time to adjust and I've noticed that I'm really cranky and irritable and even irrational for no reason. I hate feeling that way but today is the last day that I have to take it so hopefully it will even out soon. So I've been trying to stay low key to avoid any more dramatic situations because even though I know I have been way over-sensitive to everything, I can't tell what is from the medicine and what is from reality.

Yesterday marked the one year date from when I arrived in Ireland. I cannot believe that an entire year has gone by. Sometimes it feels like it has flown by. At other times, it feels like it has been forever - too long. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I am glad that I came here and tried to shake things up in a bit. I have learned alot from the experience. I have tried to accomplish things while I was here, travel goals, long-term career goals, but I have to admit that I don't know if given the opportunity, I would do it again.

I am definitely an LA girl. I love sunshine and the beach and outdoor activities and the social and cultural variety that comes with living in such a big city. My friends and my family are all there as well so of course that makes a big difference too. I notice that my experiences are so different here even when I have only a few friends in town. It becomes an entirely different experience, than when I am in my daily routine which is primarily spent at work or alone. But given the choice right now, I would come home at first opportunity to be back in the City of Angels with the people I love most.

I think I will continue to travel for the rest of my life. I absolutely love visiting new places and seeing the culture of each environment be so different from place to place. I do think it is different to spend a few weeks on vacation than to actually relocate your life and it has been good for me to experience some of the challenges that come with completely changing your environment. But one of the biggest lessons learned is that I want to spend my life with my family and friends and have travel as something I can do on vacation, not spend long lengths of time away from them.

So the ultimate unanswered question becomes, will I survive another year in Dublin? And is it worth it? I ponder that thought daily and I don't have an answer yet. I take things in baby steps now. I am meeting a friend in Sweden at the end of this month. I will be hopefully heading to Italy for a weekend in October. My birthday weekend, I will probably go to London with one of the girls from work. The weekend after my birthday, I will come home for a week into Thanksgiving. I will also come home for Christmas into New Year's.

Most of you already know that when I return I will hopefully be starting my own recruitment firm. I work on the business plan weekly while I am here. That keeps me very busy and keeps me focused on the long-term reason that I moved here in the first place. I saw this as an opportunity to not only get outside of my "comfort zone" in LA where I was way too comfortable...ie. not growing or learning but also to financially put me in a position to take the next step career wise.

There are several reasons that this is important to me. First, I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to work for several successful companies, both large and start-up and I would like to take what I have learned over the years and actually create something that is as successful for me as it is for the people I work with and for. I want to do something different and better than the current standard of recruiting as it is something I am passionate about. I enjoy finding people good jobs that will further their lives and careers. At the same time, I would like to also benefit more of the rewards of that as well.

I also want to eventually be in a position that if I ever have a family of my own, I will be able to make them my priority but continue to contribute to the financial security of my family. Recruitment is ideal for that because I can do most of my work from home and still balance that with the other areas of my life. It is extremely important for me to be able to have that balance and hopefully not have to sacrifice the lifestyle I have become accustomed to. I have worked hard to get myself to this point and I would love to see it all come to fruition where I am doing work that actually helps others but also helps my own life as well.

So even though I don't have a family of my own now, the things I do now will ultimately affect in a positive way, the things that I can offer in the future. So for all of these reasons and more, it was important that I take this step and moved here a year ago because had I not, I may have continued to stay in my daily LA routine and not made the efforts required to take the next step. Being here has definitely put my focus on creating these things for my life so that my time here was not a waste and that when I return it will be to something better.

All that said, it is easy to get discouraged when you don't have your family and friend network close by to support and encourage you which is where I struggle most with being here. I find that I have more energy when I am around the constantly energizing people in my life. Most of these people are in LA and I crave that constantly while I am here. I am trying to make the most of it while I am here though and stay positive in what can sometimes be a very draining situation to be in.

OK, enough truths for now.

To be continued...

1 comment:

Josephine Nicole said...

I like the new locked-down blog. It's more honest and real. I think about doing the same to mine -- it would read totally different. Maybe someday. In the meantime, congrats on freeing yourself from the madness. I think it will prove to be a good move...and a good read for us.