Back in the Land of Liquid Sunshine:)

I have lately been a bad blogger, I will be the first to admit it. There are few reasons for this. One, blogging can be bullshit. I can write to my friends and family and keep them posted on the adventures of my travels, but the really juicy stuff will never be written on my blog because so many strangers have access to my blog and I would never publicly post this stuff for the public to read. Why? Because some things are better kept private. Two, I have journalled for most of my life, but the most intimate feelings and emotions that are tied with good journalling will never get full effect in a blog without exposing your innermost feelings...again I would not do this in a public forum unless it was something I was willing to share with everyone. Most things I am not willing to do this with. That said, it is fun to share the experience of travelling to a new country and the idiosyncricies that go with that in a forum that can be accessable to the public as well...as long as it is in edited version with tact and respect to not offend the people involved or expose situations which could be sensitive or harmful to those involved.

All that said, here is what has been going on with me. I am back in the land of the liquid sunshine, formally known as Dublin, Ireland. I say that because apparently this has been the worst weather seen here in 50 something odd years. It rained for 40 days and 40 nights when Noah built his ark...Ireland has seen more consecutive days of rain than that and this is supposed to be summer. Maybe the world is trying to tell us something and we are just not paying attention...hmmmm...there's a thought.

The liquid sunshine of Ireland has made people here very bitter. It is the worst case of SADS that I have ever in my life witnessed. Granted I lived a very LUCKY life to be raised in sunny California where SADS was something I read about in my college psych books but had no true concept of what that meant, but the reality is that SADS does exist, in states such as Washington and countries such as Canada, Ireland, etc. where people experience long lengths of darkness creating a lack of Vitamin D from the sun and has proven itself to be taking its toll on a good majority of the population here.

This has only had relevance in my life because of the extreme resentment received from a select few of those around me (to remain nameless) who have made it very apparent when I returned that they are very pissed off that I was in LA during this miserable weather, completely ignoring and dismissing the fact that I was extremely ill, could have died from the misdiagnoses I received while trying to get medical care here and required extensive medical treatment to diagnose and resolve my medical issues in LA, not to mention the extreme amounts of debt accumulated to get proper medical care. And the only thing I can really equate that to is that they are jealous that I was in LA where it was SUNNY and not in Dublin where it was RAINING. Seriously??? Are you kidding me? Who does that? I have found this behavior and attitude to be selfish, childish and honestly shows the lack of content in those people's character but all that said, the most interesting thing about being back in Ireland is that I really haven't cared.

It hasn't bothered me for one second that it has been raining here. It hasn't bothered me that there are some people who are ignorant here. It hasn't bothered me to not be in LA, which everyone knows I consider home. So the big news is that I am actually happy to be back. I am grateful to have found such a great doctor in LA who finally found out what was actually wrong and put me back on the path to recovery. I am grateful that they caught the infections and treated them before it was too late. I am grateful that I was able to do so with the support of my friends and family. I am grateful that there were people in my life who stepped up to the plate and truly helped me during the biggest time of need I have ever had. I am grateful that the people who were in my life who were not willing to step up to the plate when I needed them made themselves apparent as well and dismissed themselves.

My perspective has truly changed on so many things that it is amazing. I think that I was actually sick for much longer than it took to become hospitalized. I think that my body was fighting illness for at least 3 or 4 months before it got to the point that my immune system was no longer fighting back and the infection completely took over. I think that being sick for so long and fighting that infection really affected my mood, my behavior and my attitude in a negative way. I feel aweful that this had a detrimental effect on some of my relationships and that people had to be patient with me when I was feeling "off" and "irritable" and had no idea why. I am so grateful that I have enough good people in my life that they were willing to help me through and hold my hand through it when to be honest there were times that I was frankly miserable to be around.

I am still on medication to treat the infections. I still have days of intense pain. I try not to let it show, because I am sure that everyone is as SICK of hearing about it as I am sick of feeling it and sick of talking about it too. But I also have some days with little pain and because my health has improved so has my attitude and my perpective. I can no longer allow circumstances and events surrounding me to have such an effect on me as they once did because it actually effects me physically. I have no choice but to be less sensitive to others and to only allow people and situations in my life that are positive and encouraging. The negative energy that gossip and negative behavior can create can actually create ulcers or make them worse so I have no choice but to change the energy around me and in me if I want to heal and get better.

That said, because the medicines and the mandatory changes to my diet(no spicy food, no acidic food etc. etc.) have already started working, I am feeling more energized than I have been in months. Mentally at least. I am still sleeping alot, almost 12 hours a day, but I know that very soon, I will physically catch up with myself and be able to have longer days of productivity. For now, I am happy if I can make it to work for an entire day before crashing in the evening early. I am hoping by next week to have enough energy to make it back to the gym. I have a list of goals that I want to start crossing of the checklist one by one and have slowly started to work on those as well. And slowly but surely, the sun is actually coming out of hiding, even if does still have moments of liquid mixed in.

The Wedding!

So one of my best friend's finally gave up her single status and tied the knot last weekend. For someone who I know would have been equally happy getting married at the local city hall, it was the most amazingly detailed, fabulous wedding I have ever attended. The week of events started the previous weekend when 8 girls headed to Las Vegas for the bachelorette weekend and as we all know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but the sharable highlights included suites at The Hotel at Mandalay Bay, a "Like a Virgin" themed night out(very big hit), the amazing views during dinner at MIX at the top of The Hotel, cabanas at the pool, an all night dance fest with VIP tables at Tryst and afterhours at Dre's, a bit of gambling, etc. etc.

The official wedding festivities started on Friday night with the rehearsal and over 100 family and friends were invited to a private party at Morton's in Beverly Hills for the rehearsal dinner. The wine was flowing, the food was fabulous and the desserts were mouth-watering delectable. After dinner, I headed to Venice to meet Alex, Rasmus, Mike and Andreas and hit James Beach and Viceroy for an unexpectadly very long night out.

The next morning, after virtually no sleep, I dragged myself to CJ at 9am for hair, raced to the hotel by noon for makeup by the always wonderful Marisa and her friend Diedre and around 3pm the entourage of help had arrived. There were more people in the room taking pictures and assisting with different tasks than I have ever seen or could have imagined. It was a bit overwhelming to see the crews of cameras and videographers, dressors, make-up artists, hair dressor, etc. etc. as we were putting the final touches of our dresses together and as Karen was dressed in her gown and preparing for her big day. We had an amazing suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The bathroom alone was bigger than my bedroom in Dublin. No detail was spared, there was even a fabulous girl who whenever you said, "I need or I forgot" seemed to be prepared with anything you could possibly need or imagine. Karen looked more amazing than I have ever seen her, and she is always beautiful but this was breathe-taking. All of the bridesmaids looked beautiful as well in the floor-lengthed cream dresses with black sash to floor and black strappy heels. The men were in tuxes with gorgeous silver silk ties and everyone looked fabulous as we were finally getting to see all of the extensive planning come together.

Pictures began around 3pm and we then had a break for a little bit in the hotel bar at which time we had a chance to touch up and rest and run into some of the fabulous celebrities of Hollywood including P Diddy staying in the suite opposite Karen's.

The official signing of the Katuba was around 6pm. There were appetizers and drinks included. Meanwhile, the guests were beginning to arrive for 7pm appetizers and drinks in a separate banquet room downstairs. The room was beginning to fill with approximately 400 guests and we were able to go down and mingle for a bit and see the amazing ball gowns of the women, the fabulous tuxes and suits of the men. Everyone was dressed beautifully.

Then came the official ceremony at around 8:30pm. We had to wait until sundown to begin as it was a jewish wedding. As we walked down the isle surrounded by hundreds of Matt and Karen's family and friends, I realized that since I'd been in our very fabulous 4 inch heels for about 6 hours by this point, my feet were becoming unbearably sore. By the time I got to the front, I realized my feet on the stone had officially decided to transition into the nausiating feeling of razerblades through the balls of my feet. I have never felt anything like this in my life and can usually handle myself well in heels of all sizes...but this was something different, so I took deep breaths, smiled and tried not to throw up or pass out as I was supposed to be standing for the bride not literally falling for her. I tried my hardest to concetrate while moving my feet to a small patch of grass to the right of my feet to releave some of the pressure, thinking, "Am I the only one who is feeling this?" The rabbi was a great speaker, they had a beautiful voiced singer and the ceremony lasted about 30 minutes, ending with the breaking of the glass...this is it, Karen and Matt were officially married. As I walked back down the isle with David, a groomsman, I was whispering slower, slower because I still felt like my feet were going to give out on me. It turned out that all of the bridesmaids were all feeling the same pain. Virginia, Laura and I literally collapsed into the cushy chairs in the outside of the reception area and stayed there with our feet up in the air for 30 minutes as the guests entered the reception.

As soon as we walked into the reception area and my shoes were replaced with very hidden flip-flops under our floor length dresses, my breathe was literally taken away as I was able to absorbe the details of the room and by the amazing arrangements of flowers throughout the room. No detail again had been spared. There was even floating roses in the center of the room surrounding the dance floor. It was like walking into a fairy tale. There was an ice-sculptured martini bar with Karen and Matt's initials engraved into it, where the bartender would pour the martini requested through the ice sculpture and into the glass. There was a cigar roller, a 5 course meal, an amazing band that was incredibly versatile and everyone seemed to be having an amazing time.

Matt and Karen had choreographed their first dance and I had no idea what to expect and had been teasing her about just looking into his eyes dreamily for the first dance and everything would be fine...so when they were introduced and walked onto the dance floor, I was amazed to see that they were actually looking like the fairy-tale couple floating on the dance floor, dancing and spinning around the room. It was one of the most adorable things I have ever seen.

The toasts were heartfelt and hilarious, the kindest, funniest and truest words were spoken about Karen and Matt's relationship. The dancing was so much fun and the band played a huge variety of great music. I even got the pleasure of swing dancing with one of Matt's guests.

It was an honour to be a part of. I can't even describe how happy I am that the two of them found each other and were able to have such a memorable day to celebrate their union to each other. I was truly proud to be a bridesmaid in their wedding as I adore them both so much. And nothing I write will ever be able to truly capture what an amazing day it really was.

But the party didn't stop there...there was a brunch the next morning at Matt's parents house. It was equally fabulous with a coffee bar, omelette bar, variety of meats and cheeses and fruits and breads, etc. etc. They have amazing rose gardens and an equally impressive herb garden. I really hope one day to have a fresh herb garden to pick out fresh herbs and vegetables for cooking so this really impressed me.

And now they are off on their honeymoon in Italy and France and I am kitty-sitting their very-devilish cat until I return to Dublin next week. It was truly a most fabulous occasion and I wish I could describe it with the justice it deserves but this will have to do.